Program Already In Progress



Now in our third year, PAIP is WMPG's weekly radio comedy extravaganza, airing Friday nights at 10:30pm. We alternate every other week between pre-recorded multi-track productions such as those you'll hear on this page, and live, improvised, anything-goes radio theater starring Portland's improv comedy troupe, Instant Comedy.

30 Years | Carnival Macabre | Kim Chee | Republican Guard | WMES @ Nite | Miracle Drug |
Effing Cable | DH Live/Silicon Hillbillies | Missing Joke | Chet's Dilemma | The Messy Awards |
Mystery of the Frozen South | Search For bin Laden | Business As Usual | Grey Matters | Slums of Oz |
The Big Checkmate | Red Badge of Terror

Unfinished Live Archives:

HEY! something new here!


"30 Years In Arrears"

PAIP #24: 30 Years In Arrears -- The WMPG Story
PAIP celebrates WMPG's 30th birthday with this all-star mockumentary hosted by uber-Brit-chick Rank Lewis, who takes us back through three decades of college/community radio mayhem. Listen for rare performances from Karen Carpenter, The Eagles, Bob Dylan, Peter Frampton, Nirvana, Jim Rand and much more!

See photos from the music recording sessions here.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Jennywren Sanders, Harold Tucker, Tom Walsh
Guest Voices: Chip Edgar, Jim Rand, Dave Bunker, Phil Hersey, Matt Little
Vocals: John Shibley, Jennywren Sanders, Josh Samuels, Rebecca Minnick, Jim Hall
Musicians: John Shibley, Jim Hall, Michael Townsend and special guest Leif Laudamus
Produced by Michael Townsend and Jim Hall
Original air date: 9/12/03

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"Carnival Macabre"

PAIP #23: Carnival Macabre
Nick (Tom Walsh) and Dale (Harold Tucker) revisit the horrific traveling carnival that scared the crap out of them as adolescents. As they succumb to one torturous thrill ride after another -- The Reincarnathon, The Hell Hole, The Tunnel of Ono and more -- what does sinister proprietor Ivan Morloff (Dan Bernard) have in store for their grand finale? And can a pair of oversexed gypsies, the Zoloft sisters (Hilary Aptowitz, Jennywren Sanders), save them?

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
WARNING: The character of Nick is the sole creation and intellectual property of Tom Walsh. All rights reserved. Use only as directed.
Starring Instant Comedy
Music by THE RESIDENTS
Produced by Michael Townsend and Jim Hall
Original air date: 8/15/03

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"Kim Chee's War Chest"

PAIP #22: Kim Chee's War Chest
Our broadcast is jammed by a latter-day "Tokyo Rose" named Kim Chee, a North Korean vixen spewing communist rhetoric and playing correct-thinking clips like "Washington Squares" (a game-show showdown between Presidents Bush and Kim Jong Il), talk show excerpts from Orca and her protege Dr. Pil, Korean komedians, kommunist kommercials and the big finale live from President Il's pleasure palace. Watch out for that squid!

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Tom Walsh, Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker
Guest Voice: Chip Edgar
Musicians: John Shibley and Jim Hall; Singers: Carolyn Ezzy, Rebecca Minnick, John Shibley, Jim Hall
Produced by Michael Townsend and Jim Hall
Original air date: 5/23/03

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"Republican Guard"

PAIP #20: The Search for the Republican Guard
Fearless reporter Sue Daily delves into deepest desert territory to ride in a tank, go shopping at the weapons mall, and hunt for Iraq's elusive Republican Guard. We also get to listen in on the Baghdad broadcast of Saddam and Osama's new "Morning Zoo" program, and lots lots more. Chopped up into small digestible chunks for fast downloads. Brought to you by the Universal Corporation Corporation -- Buying up real estate in your mind.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Tom Walsh, Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker
Guest Voice: Chip Edgar
Musicians: John Shibley and Jim Hall; Singers: Carolyn Ezzy, Rebecca Minnick, John Shibley, Jim Hall
Produced by Michael Townsend and Jim Hall; additional production by Joanne Lafferty
Original air date: 1/31/03

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WMES At Nite

PAIP #17: WMES At Nite
Effing Cable is offering some pretty tough competition for broadcaster WMES, so the desperate station fights back with a new season of "Cliche Series" -- remakes of old sitcoms with some much needed sex-and-violence thrown in. Join hosts Jim Macnamara and Tia Rosenstein for a sneak peak!

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Tom Walsh, Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker
Special Guest Star: Frank Taliento
Music by Elizabeth Trice and John Shibley
Vocals by Hilary Aptowitz and Elizabeth Trice with Dan Bernard and Jim Hall
Produced by Michael Townsend and Jim Hall
Original air date: 8/30/02

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DH: Miracle Drug

PAIP #16: Dramatic Hospital: "Attack of the Miracle Drug
The episode that ended our tenure on Portland Radio Theater and launched the PAIP era (in two parts aired over a month apart), now repackaged into a tiny purple pill called "Solvitol." Look for the thrilling cameo appearance from Christopher Reeve in Part Four.

Written by Dan Bernard and Tom Walsh
Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker & Tom Walsh
Guest Stars: Paul Drinan and Cathy Counts
Produced by Dan Bernard and Jim Hall
PAIP air date: 8/2/02

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Effing Cable

PAIP #15: Effing Cable
The town of Effing, Maine finally gets cable TV service, and what choices! Flip around the channels and you can catch "The Divorcekateers," "Leonard Box, The Hangin' Judge," "Puppet Time," "Redneck Fear Factor," newsmagazines, commercials galore and more. Let's go surfing!

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
"Redneck Fear Factor," "Guano" and "G-Money" written by Harold Tucker with Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Tom Walsh, Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker
Special Guests Paul Drinan, Steve Leon as the Voice of the 60s and Michael Townsend as "Bernie"
Music by Elizabeth Trice and John Shibley
Vocals by Elizabeth Trice and Jim Hall
Produced by Michael Townsend and Jim Hall
Original air date: 6/21/02

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DH Live/Silicon Hillbillies

PAIP #14: Dramatic Hospital Live/The Silicon Hillbillies
Resurrecting some more pre-PAIP efforts. First, the debut episode of "Dramatic Hospital," performed live at The Maine Festival in August, 2000. Then, from November of 2000, "The Silicon Hillbillies," a spoof of...well, you'll see.

Written by Dan Bernard and Tom Walsh
Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard & Tom Walsh
Guest Stars: Paul Drinan, Cathy Counts and Carter Logan
DH Live Produced by Michael Townsend; SilHil Produced by Jim Hall
PAIP air date: 5/24/02

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The Missing Joke

PAIP #13: Roscoe North, Psychic Detective in "The Case of the Missing Joke"
Another blast from the past: our first full-length Roscoe North, originally aired over two months on Portland Radio Theater in the fall of 2000. Now repackaged for the short attention spans of PAIP listeners the world over. Roscoe delves into the shadowy underworld of stand-up comedy and a showdown with arch-nemesis "The Mouth."

Written by Dan Bernard and Tom Walsh
Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Frank Taliento & Tom Walsh
Guest Voice: Jennifer Boggs
Produced by Michael Townsend and Dan Bernard
PAIP air date: 4/26/02

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Chet's Dilemma

PAIP #12: Chet's Dilemma
In this new episode of "Dramatic Hospital"...er, we mean "Ronald Dalton, Attorney at Law"...or is it another "Roscoe North, Psychic Detective"?...anyway, in this latest production from Program Already In Progress, stoner EMT Chet Langstrom finds himself smack in the middle of an evil orthopaedic plot, a hit-and-run lawsuit, and a non-stop party. Who could resist? Naturally, everyone ends up in court for the final big scene.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker & Tom Walsh
Additional Voices: Paul Drinan, Ruth Leddy
Produced by Jim Hall & Michael Townsend
Original air date: 4/19/02

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The Messy Awards

PAIP #11: The Messy Awards
Join hosts Jim Macnamara and Tia Rosenstein of that wonderful media mess we call WMES ("TV for your TV") as they present the spectacular 21st Annual Messy Awards! Hear classic clips from all your PAIP favorites as well as plenty of new material (check out Tia's show-stopping number, "This Lady Is A Tramp," in Part One) in this non-stop half-hour of glitz, gushes and guffaws.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker & Tom Walsh
Additional Voices: Paul Drinan, Ruth Leddy, Frank Taliento, Chris Darling
Produced by Jim Hall & Michael Townsend
Original air date: 2/22/02

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The Mystery of the Frozen South

PAIP #10: Roscoe North and The Mystery of the Frozen South
In this full-length half-hour "audio movie", Roscoe North, Psychic Detective, journeys to deepest Antarctica to rescue gypsy fortuneteller (and former flame) Madame Zoloft from the clutches of a mysterious and horrific power.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard & Tom Walsh
Additional Voice Characterizations: Paul Drinan & Ruth Leddy
Sound Design: Jim Hall
Produced by Jim Hall & Michael Townsend
Original air date: 12/28/01

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The Search For bin Laden

PAIP #9: The Search For bin Laden
Join anchorman Jim McNamara, reporter Sue Daily, daytime talkshow host Becky Toothy-Soccermom and a cast of thousands -- including the Evil One himself -- for a rollicking half-hour of outrageous "newsertainment"!

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard & Tom Walsh
Guest Stars: Paul Drinan & Ruth Leddy
Produced by Michael Townsend & Jim Hall
Original air date: 11/30/01

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Business As Usual
PAIP #8: Business As Usual
This half-hour offered nothing but commercials -- a compilation of parody spots from previous episodes as well as many new ones that serve up satirical commentary on the current condition of America. The relatively small downloads below are a good sampling of some of our favorites.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy
Produced by Michael Townsend & Jim Hall
Original air date: 10/19/01

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Grey Matters
PAIP #6: Grey Matters
Another episode in the continuing saga of "Dramatic Hospital," where hearts are sometimes broken, sometimes stop, but are always mended. This spoof on medical soap operas somehow gets Charlie Sheen, Britney Spears and libidinous brain implants into the picture. The segments also include some killer commercial breaks!

Written by Dan Bernard with Tom Walsh
Directed by Dan Bernard
Produced by Jim Hall with Michael Townsend Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Tom Walsh, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker
Special Guest: Chris Darling
Original air date: 08/11/01

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Slums of Oz
PAIP #5: Slums of Oz
A penetrating expose! Travel with newshound Sue Daily on an ear-opening journey to the land of Oz to check in on the whereabouts of the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion. Also features the debut of surreal soaper "Dank Shadows."

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker & Tom Walsh
Also featuring Karen D'Andrea, Chris Darling and Ruth Leddy
Music by Jim Hall and Michael Townsend
Produced by Dan Bernard, Jim Hall & Michael Townsend
Original air date: 6/30/01


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Roscoe North in The Big Checkmate
PAIP #3: Roscoe North in The Big Checkmate
This time, Roscoe North, Psychic Detective, gets mixed up in the world of high stakes celebrity chess, the Chinese laundry syndicate, a temptress named "Miss Adventure" and an evil nemesis known as "Monstro."

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard and Tom Walsh
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker & Tom Walsh
Special Guest: Chris Darling
Music by Mystic Outbop Revue
Produced by Jim Hall
Original air date: 3/20/01


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The Red Badge of Terror

PAIP #2: The Red Badge of Terror
An eye-opening history lesson in which the Civil War begets the Birth of the Blues, Robert E. Lee is a hopeless drunk, and the real hero of the war is a classically-educated runaway slave by the name of James Massa.

Written and Directed by Dan Bernard
Starring Instant Comedy: Hilary Aptowitz, Dan Bernard, Harold Tucker & Tom Walsh
Special Guest Star: Chris Darling
Music by Carter Logan
Produced by Jim Hall
Exec. Producer: Michael Townsend
Original air date: 2/20/01


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